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Time to set your sights on the stars and let me, Callie C, shine a light on everything you need to know about today’s hottest socialites and celebrities. Turns out they’re just like the rest of us, only attired in more fetching threads. Welcome to StarWatch!
Let’s begin with the hot topic currently setting spectrum aflame. Boyce Baudin is back! But don’t you dare call him “Babyface” anymore. The beloved comedic actor with the cherubic visage disappeared from the public eye for months, canceling several spectrum appearances without warning. Rumors swirled that the notoriously hard partying prankster might’ve finally allowed his cravings to control him. Now we know, thankfully, that wasn’t the case. But many of Boyce’s longtime fans are less than pleased with the real reason for his self-imposed sabbatical…
Turns out that Baudin couldn’t deny the call of the Calliope. The actor felt his signature look was keeping him from landing the leading roles he truly desired, so he became the latest celeb to get the BiotiCorp reboot. Bye bye rosy red cheeks and round chin; hello chiseled cheekbones and devastating jawline. I believe the desired outcome was “ruggedly handsome,” but to my eyes it’s more “rough around the edges.”
Initial reactions to Baudin’s new appearance on spectrum were savage. Some of Baudin’s most dedicated devotees spun wild theories to explain the change, including one group convinced he’s going to yell “Triggerfish!” at any moment. From what I’m hearing, the star may be wishing that the new look had been a prank. Sources close to the bygone babyface claim he’s despondent about the public’s reaction and has been debating restoring his classic countenance. Let this be a lesson to all those stars considering similar procedures; sometimes perfection has a price.
Now, let’s go to a “say it ain’t so” scenario. There’s a new headline crashing its way out of Oso that kid-vid heartthrob Sindre Alby has been arrested for an unprovoked attack on a civilian ship. Representatives for the former star insist that Alby’s intentions were honorable and that the incident is nothing more than an unfortunate misunderstanding.
Alby rose to fame for his role as the mysterious yet sensitive stock clerk in Open for Business, one of my fav vids growing up and still my go-to drunk rewatch. Of course, we all remember when, at the height of the show’s popularity, Alby quit the show and acting entirely to go fight for animal rights across the Empire. Be still my beating teen heart!
He’s been at it for a while now, making vids and leading protests to raise awareness, but I guess this time he might have taken the fight too far.
Sources say the handsome heartbreaker had taken up with a watchdog group dedicated to staking out the Oso system and scanning ships to ensure Osoians aren’t being smuggled out. When Alby became convinced a vessel travelling well off the system’s normal shipping lanes was smuggling the protected creatures, he reported it to the local authorities. Though he was explicitly told not to engage, Alby got nervous when the ship’s quantum drive began to spool and decided to blow their main thrusters to bits. When the authorities finally arrived at the scene and boarded, guess what they found? Nothing illegal! Not a single cute Osoian! Nothing! They arrested Alby and the rest of the activists on the spot for attacking a civilian vessel.
Sure, Alby didn’t follow proper procedures, and the family aboard the ship suffered some injuries, but no one died. The former actor has promised to replace the damaged ship and pay all medical costs, but he’s still facing serious charges. Are you kidding? If you ask me, the ‘verse needs more valiant individuals like Alby who are dedicated to the greater good.
Fans of the former star have already started a “Free Alby” campaign to advocate for his release. I’ve pledged my support and so should you, so Alby can go free… and maybe star in the Open for Business reboot.
Enough with all this serious stuff. It’s time to have some fun!
It takes only one look at me to see that fashion is a passion. I’m not afraid to admit that the longest and most important relationship in my life is with a pair of Venti Penrose suede pumps. For me, it’s an expression of individuality and a way to stand out from the crowd.
That’s why, when I’m not scooping scandals, I’m scouring spectrum for all the hottest trends. To help me assess the latest looks, I’m joined again by my fab friend and fashionista, Nisco Hobbins.
Nisco Hobbins: Thank you, Calcee. I love being here almost, almost as much as I love OpalSky’s new line.
Stop it. Didn’t you call last year’s fall look, “chintzy casual clothes for those too rich to shop at Casaba?”
Nisco Hobbins: In my defense, I’m not paid to pull punches. My job is to form fashion opinions based on my gut reaction and years of experience. Expressing honest, cutting comments is what got my butt a spot on this show, you know.
And won your way into my heart… which I’m now reconsidering.
Nisco Hobbins: How dare you?
I just don’t understand how adding stuff like a subtle paw print pattern to the same boring and basic clothes suddenly converted you?
Nisco Hobbins: What? I can’t change my mind?
Only if you back it up by wearing OpalSky’s new line the next time you’re on the show.
Nisco Hobbins: Done and done.
Before I reconsider ever asking Nisco back on the show, let’s talk about what I think is the hottest new trend… gems, gems, and more gems.
Nisco Hobbins: Are you talking about those new Laren’zo designed dresses?
So amazing, aren’t they?
Nisco Hobbins: I almost don’t even know what to think.
This boldly beautiful new look from Republic of One features gems sewn into the seams around the peekaboo panels. It provides this mesmerizing sparkle and an eye-catching pop of color that is incredible.
Nisco Hobbins: It’s ostentatious. It’s shocking. And I love every damn thing about it.
The fashion house is even pitching these dresses as a potential heirloom quality asset. So, if you like keeping a little physical wealth around, a dress encrusted with gems isn’t a bad option.
Nisco Hobbins: So true, ‘cause from what I heard, these handcrafted pieces are mondo expensivo. I’m already debating which organ to sell so I can afford one.
You heard about what they had to do to make their first run, right?
Nisco Hobbins: No, what?
Republic hired a bunch of independent miners to hunt down exactly the stones they needed.
Nisco Hobbins: Big thanks to all those out there making this ‘verse a more beautiful place! You did your part for the greater good.
Now, all I need is someone to send me one to wear on the show. Wink, wink.
Nisco Hobbins: Winking doesn’t work that way.
Guess we’ll see.
Nisco Hobbins: Honey, trust me, Laren’zo is not watching this show.
Stop crushing my spirit, or I’ll have Ravi mute your mic.
Nisco Hobbins: Love you, Laren’zo! Your new line embraces the entire Republic aesthetic while also giving it an intriguing new spin. Just like what OpalSky did.
What’s going on here? Are you getting paid by the plug?
Nisco Hobbins: Can I be honest?
That’s a loaded question.
Nisco Hobbins: I hate OpalSky’s new line. I just wanted to have a little fun. Please don’t make me wear their clothes on your show.
Oh! You are so bad! We might have some Opal lying around here that I should make you wear for the second half of this segment.
Nisco Hobbins: You wouldn’t.
Better keep your eyes here, watchers. There’s more StarWatch coming up after this quick break.